Christmas story

This season celebrates the "birth" of Jesus, although most historians conclude He was not born in December at all. This human birth was the beginning of His ministry on earth, but keep in mind that He did not come into being at this time. He existed eternally before this event and continues to live today. He is our Savior and our Lord. We only need to listen and follow.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 
<sup>Luke 1

Verse 26-38
26</sup> In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, ²⁷ to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. ²⁸ The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”
²⁹ Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. ³⁰ But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. ³² He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, ³³ and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”
³⁴ “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”
³⁵ The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called^[b] the Son of God. ³⁶ Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. ³⁷ For no word from God will ever fail.”
³⁸ “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

(There is a song called Be Born in Me sung by Francesca Batistelli. I think it really captures a feeling of fear and yet willing obedience that Mary must have been feeling. I recommend listening to this song.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsXOP7aQeqQ)

^{Luke 2}

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ² (This was the first census that took place while^[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.

⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.
⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

¹⁵ When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸ and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹ But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
 

Shopping Stories

Two quick stories from my wham-bam Christmas shopping let's-get-it-all-done-in-one-weekend weekend.

1. Brookstone
I hardly ever go to the mall. For Christmas shopping though, I will go there often. I always stop by the Brookstone to see what new products they have. I have a few people who are hard to buy for and sometimes I will get an idea just from walking through the store. Last year, I bought a popsicle maker for Darcy for Christmas, for example. So today I am breezing through, stopping to look at the automatic snack dispenser and the pink denim iPad covers, when I hear two young girls behind me. They are about 8 years old maybe, and obviously thrilled with what Brookstone has for them to look at and try out. I turn to look their direction, when they come running to a display, yelling "Microphone! Microphone!" It is not a microphone they are seeing though. It is one of Brookstone's many personal massagers. I will give it to the girls though. It WAS shaped like a microphone.

They immediately pick up the massagers and put them up to their mouths and start singing. Their father, not far behind, sees them and firmly but without being too loud, says to them, "Put those down! Put those down!" and corrals the girls to the entrance. I don't know why he seemed so urgent for them to put the massagers down. I mean, they are used by females all the time...on their shoulders...to help with aches.

2. Sears
I had not gone to Sears to shop for jewelry. I was there for a specific purpose, which I cannot reveal, since it involves a present that I am giving to someone who might read this blog. Anyway, I stopped to look some ridiculous Kim Kardashian bags, which lead me to the watch section right next door, which lead to jewelry. I was greeted by a very old saleslady behind the counter. She was about 4 1/2 feet tall and had a hump in her back where her shoulders had just fallen over it seems. Good reminder to sit up straight and drink your milk, girls!!! I told her I was looking for something for my mother. (I do not think my mother reads this blog but to be sure, I won't  into much detail.) She directed me to a variety of items and then to a set of jewelry which contained earrings, a bracelet, and a necklace. It was very pretty and it was on sale for like 75% off normal price. I decided to buy it. While putting the jewelry back into the box it had been displayed in, the saleslady noticed a couple of scuff marks and nicks in the box. She told me she would give me new boxes to put it in that would be in better condition. She rang me up and put the jewelry, in its original box, into a lovely little Sears bag.

She then reached down behind the counter and pulled out a squareish silver box. She told me this was a necklace box. She suggested I put the necklace in there along with the earrings. She opened the box to show me how she would drape the necklace in there. Then she closed it up and tucked it into my Sears bag. She reached down again, into the same drawer behind the counter, and pulled out a long rectangular box. She showed it to me and stated this was for bracelets. She did not open this box, only dropped it into the Sears bag. I paid for the items and she gave me an additional 10% off because she said there was a coupon. Good deal, I thought! I had no idea how good.

I went to 2 more stores and then to Firehouse to get me some lunch and then home. My feet were killing me - I was wearing boots because I had been to church - and I wanted to eat and wrap and get my packages together so I can mail them tomorrow. I ate my sandwich and lounged on the couch a bit. Then I got up and went to the wrapping table, also known as the dining room table. I pulled the boxes out of my Sears bag. I decided I would take pictures of the jewelry before wrapping it, in case anyone later on wanted to see what I had purchased. I opened the original beat-up display box and took a picture of the bracelet and earrings which were still in it. I opened the new square box which had the necklace in it. I took a picture of it. I then opened the long bracelet box so I could put the bracelet in it. But when I opened the bracelet box, it already had a bracelet in it!

I was shocked! I think I said out loud, all by myself, "Oh no! Oh no! What is that?" It was a silver tennis bracelet with small sparkly stones. I looked at the tag. It stated it was sterling silver with diamonds. Oh My! I then saw the price on the bracelet. $459.00. Gulp. I knew immediately that I had to take it back. No one at the store would know I had it and even surveillance tapes would show the saleslady taking the box out and putting it directly into my bag. I never touched it. But I knew I would take it back. I felt creepy just having it in my apartment so many miles away from the mall store.

The bracelet

I felt bad for the saleslady, wondering if she would get in trouble.I thought I might just take it directly to her so she could fix the problem herself. But, I wondered, what if she is a thief? What if she stashed that bracelet in the empty boxes drawer till the end of her shift but forget which box it was in? What if her coworker was a thief? Shouldn't I end this attempted jewelry heist by being a good citizen? Maybe I should take it to the manager? And why did I have to haul my cookies back to the mall? I just came from there and my legs were tired. They should send someone out here to pick it up or let me keep it as a prize for my honesty. No, not really.

So I hopped back in the car and headed to the mall again. I was nervous about going in. Some people had said I should call them first. Some were worried that I would get in trouble. I didn't really think any of that would happen. I walked in the door and went right up to a check out stand. Three cashiers were working and the line of customers they were serving was long. I did not stand in line but leaned against the counter hoping to get a cashier's attention. A woman wearing a green lanyard approached the counter and went behind it. She said something to the cashier and I assumed she was a manager. I said to her, "Umm, are you a manager?" She replied that she was. I asked if I could speak to her for a moment. She came around the counter with an apprehensive look on her face.

I said to her, "I was in the store a little while ago buying some jewelry. The case that the jewelry came in was kind of marked up and dirty looking, so the saleslady gave me some empty boxes so I could repackage the jewelry. She gave me two boxes." I pulled the bracelet box from the Sears bag I was carrying and opened it up in front of her. "This was inside one of the boxes she gave me."

This manager's eyes bugged open. "Oh my," she said. She motioned me to follow her over to the jewelry counter. She walked behind it to a man who was also wearing a green lanyard, a fellow manager I assumed. He was intensely working on a diamond ring by the register. She spoke to him but I could not hear what she said. He seemed annoyed at being bothered. Then they both came over to where I was standing.

He asked me, "So you got this in a box? Who gave this to you? Was it this person?" He pointed to a young saleslady with long dark hair. This lady had been working there when I bought the jewelry but she was not the person who had waited on me. I told him no, it wasn't her. He said, almost really to himself, "Well it must have been Dorothy then." I pointed out the drawer where the supposedly empty box had been pulled from. The lady manager, the first one I had spoken to, said, "Thank you so much for returning this." The male manager said, "Well this bracelet doesn't even come in this type of box. Hmm." He asked me if I still wanted the box and I said yes. He yanked the bracelet out of the box and handed the now empty box to me. He never thanked me for returning it. He left with the bracelet and never said another word to me. The lady manager thanked me again. I told her it was no problem. I was happy to have it out of my possession. I left the store.

Some people thought Sears should have apologized profusely to me. Some thought I should have gotten a reward or a big coupon at least. Honestly, I thought they would be a little happier to get it back that they indicated to me. But nonetheless, the bracelet is back where it belongs and I have a funny story to tell on this blog.

More Apartment Pictures

Still some boxes and much organization to be finished. The bedroom is a maze and the living room is too. I am donating my bed frame but for now it sits in the living room, allowing me to stub my toe on it fairly regularly.

The bedroom before anything much went into it. Two big closets, but that limits placement of furniture.

My two dressers, sort of awkwardly placed. We took the doors off one of the closets to put a dresser and TV in it.

The other side of the bedroom. My bed is on the floor and I am liking it that way so far. The cat doesn't seem to mind at all.

The Edie Harper went up finally. Still thinking of where to put the Charley.

The pantry still in need of final organization.

The cat enjoys the sliding glass door. There's that painful bed frame on the floor.

Cowboy the Black-Nosed Kitty. Someone's been nosing around the screen door looking for lizards!

New Apartment

The new apartment is still very much a work in progress. So many boxes not yet unpacked. Just tonight got my cable installed so I can finally put the dresser into the closet where the doors were removed to make an alcove. But here are some preliminary pictures. Note my new and quite beautiful couch!

My cheap little dinette by the front door across from the kitchen.

My kitchen after Cara painted it for me. I have always wanted a yellow kitchen!

My new couch with the two teal chairs I got free from work. The library table with the computer is down past the couch.

This thrift store china cabinet was soooo heavy to move. Almost didn't move it. But I'm glad I did. Looks nice with the kitchen.

My tiny bathroom but I love my new shower curtain.

Proposal

While moving has been a pain in the ass, it has also caused me to uncover long buried treasures. By that, I mean old and hilarious emails, last wills and testaments, and greeting cards from friends. Just tonight, I came across this email written while I lived in Chicago. A short preface indicates that, in addition to the person it is addressed to, I also sent this to Connie.

From: Kelly
To: Greg & Jorge
Date: 9/1/99

BELOW IS THE PROPOSAL I SENT TO CARA'S MOM CONNIE. THE REASONS WHY I DID THIS ARE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN. IT HAS TO DO WITH A CONVERSATION I HAD WITH CARA LAST NIGHT.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Been losing in the stock market lately?
Savings account not giving you the earnings you had hoped for?
Wondering if there's a better way to invest your hard-earned funds?

Well, from my perspective, the best investment is an investment in the FUTURE!!!!
And as Whitney Houston sings so well...I believe the children are our future.

You may be asking, "But how can I help? How can I make a difference in the life of a child?"
Well let me tell you.

After a year or so of thought, I am on the verge of making a decision regarding having a child myself. Several obstacles stand in the way of this happening.

First of all I need to move out of Chicago. While I love this city, I would have to marry a wealthy man to ever raise a child in the city.
Second, I would need to find a place to live very inexpensively while working, saving, and going through the procedure of artificial insemination.
Third, I would need to have emotional support throughout the pregnancy, if the insemination "takes".
Fourth, I would need a place to live for the first year of this child's life while I am not working.

I mentioned this great offer to your daughter, Cara, and she couldn't wait to seize this wonderful opportunity. She has generously offered to provide some of this emotional support, some babysitting, some used baby furniture, toys, and other items and a place to live for part of the year. Again, I am amazed at her generosity, not to mention her husband, Tom, who just last night enthusiastically agreed it was a GREAT idea.

How can YOU help?

Well, first of all by providing the brutal honesty, fierce intelligence, and regimented lifestyle, tempered with kindness of course, that I would need. And you could provide housing for me for part of the year when you are in Evansville.

So now you are probably thinking, "But what do I get for my investment of time, housing, and money?"

The dividends will be enormous.

I will have a child that can love and care for. My mother will get a grandchild. You, of course, will be named as a godmother, along with my sister. What else could you ask for?

Wait a minute! There's more! You also have the chance to contribute to my abiding serenity and happiness , as well as my mother's joy and provide her a good reason to move to Florida, where the sunny weather will help her healthwise. In addition, there will be an extra person available for a raucous game of spades. But the biggest reward will the chance to nurture, foster, and influence another member of the next generation!

Too good to be true? Maybe. Maybe none of it will work. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I need to move into a rundown trailer in the desert Southwest and live the rest of my life surrounded by mangy ass dogs, tumbleweeds, and truck driver boyfriends, one after the other, in endless, mind-numbing succession.

But is that REALLY what you want for me? Is that the best thing for me?

You don't have to decide today. You don't have to decide this week. But don't wait too long. That bio clock is ticking and this is a limited time offer. Get in on the ground floor while you can. What have you got  to lose?

Needless to say, Connie did not take me up on this offer. Hard to believe with such a tempting proposal as this, huh?

Another Diary Entry from 10 Years Ago

Warning: this contains some graphic descriptions.

August 4, 2002

It's Hard to Wipe Your Ass When Jude Law is Looking 
(or Thoughts from a Woman Living Alone)

Jude Law is staring up at me, up at my crotch, as I sit on the toilet. It's my period and that means lots of bowel trouble. At least once a day, it's good to sit and read and let it all out. You girls know what I mean. I never close the bathroom door. I mean never. I live alone. There's no need. I shower with the door open, piss, shit, change my tampons all with the door open. In some ways, I love that about living alone. But in some ways, it makes the bathroom just an extension of bedroom which is just an extension of the living room. I never shut the bedroom door either.
So there I am, sitting, shitting, peeing, draining, if you will, while reading a Vanity Fair. As I'm wiping my ass, I look down. There in the corner where the tub meets the wall is a GQ magazine with a bearded Jude Law on the cover. The cover says he like it "dark and twisty". He glances at me with a sideways look, a flirty devilish look. Suddenly I am self-conscious about what I'm doing. For a split second, I imagine that I will close my legs and giggle, "Oh my, you little devil Jude. Would you mind turning around for a moment?" Tee Hee. Oh silly woman, just wipe your ass and be done with it. Tibbs strolls in and rescues me, lying down right on Jude's face and stretching out. That's my boy!

thanks google images for finding this cover for me

 

10 Years Ago

I was up on Saturday morning, going through one of my many boxes that just seem to be filled with junk. They lie around everywhere, being ignored, while they collect cat hair. Since I will be shoving 2 bedrooms worth of junk into a 1 bedroom apartment, I am trying to be ruthless about throwing things away. These boxes are full of things that need to be thrown away, I'm sure. So far, in this box, I found a pair of bedroom slippers, a make up bag, 2 photo albums, and some batteries. I also found a little notebook that I had apparently been using as a diary for a short time. Here is one of the entries. Note the date.

May 28, 2002
Seven months after the WTC came down, I had my first terrorism-themed dream. Planes crashing or exploding in midair over Lincoln Park in Chicago. Flaming wreckage falling all around, me curled up in a ball on the grass, nowhere to run, reciting the Lord's Prayer, yes I remembered the lyrics, oh wait it's not a song! I remembered the words.

Anyway I am now going through the second wave of dread and paranoia. The first wave hit about 2-3 weeks after 9/11. This second wave is an exact duplicate of the set of thoughts, fears, and plans to consider of the first one. Thinking of building an emergency kit to keep by front door in case of last minute evacuation. I haven't even worried about what I might be evacuating from and where exactly do I think I am evacuating to, young lady? The point is to be prepared for the eventuality of the evacuation. What to pack?

Favorite photos. Those will be hard to narrow down. Maybe I will buy a special terrorism photo album, pick out my faves, and put them all in one attractive and easy-to-grab-as-you-flee-your-home package. Same thing with CDs. I vow to keep only my absolutely favorite CDs in my travelling CD wallet. The problem is my CD wallet usually stays at work all week. Will need to purchase 2nd CD wallet to carry in my purse. I don't think all my Elvis Costello albums will fit in my purse. So many things to buy. Most expensive (and most worrisome) item that I feel the need to purchase is a gun. Oh well my work break's over. Remind me to write about my horribly declining penmanship. Is this a sign of brain disorder? Will try to read up on internet about bad handwriting.

(later same day)

Am on 2nd break now. About the gun thing. I am just a little upset about wanting to own one. Is it just a consequence of 9/11? Is it simply a reasonable security tool for a single woman living alone? Do I not object because I'm getting older and more conservative, as all people seem to do when they age? I want to learn to shoot, know what it is like to fire one. Perhaps I can take safety classes or a shooting class first. Cara will never let her kids into my apartment again if she knows there's a gun there. A few months ago I would have completely concurred. Am I taking fear too far? Or have the G. Gordon Liddys of the world been right all along? The latter possibility is pretty scary all by itself. The real question is why would I feel safer with a gun?

News of this Week

1. I went a couple weeks ago to see Darcy play football. I have never seen her play this game before. Cara had to take Madison to some academic competition, so she recruited me to take Darcy to her game. She has bright green gloves to help her catch and hold onto the football better. It was interesting to see her play.

She looks so athletic here and she is!

Darcy plays center

Darcy scrambles after the competitors

2. I was approved for my new apartment and gave notice at my current apartment. Now comes the time to pack, which is the worst part. I will be signing the lease on November 15. Then I will be able to start moving things over. I have until November 30 in my current place. I have 2 weeks to make that happen. I didn't take any pictures of the inside when I got to briefly see it, but I did take pictures of the outside just a few days ago. This place does not do a lot of landscaping, which is good by me. I lived one place where the grass was always lush and green and there was a lot of landscaping. I hate to think how much water and money it took to keep it that way. How much of my rent went to that? My rent money certainly didn't go to making the staircase safe. Anyway, this place is not designed to wow you with greenery. The trees look like they are mostly pines or oaks. The grass is dry and the soil is sandy. Seems like natural Florida to me. In fact, there is a giant cactus growing in front of my door. I am glad to know they aren't wasting water . . . on landscaping anyway.

What you see when you drive back to my apt

My soon-to-be front door. I live on the end of a building, so I share only one wall with another person.

This is a picture of the back of the apartment. There is a sliding glass door off the living room to a small concrete patio. The person who lived there before installed a little fence around it.

3. Our church had its normal Trunk or Treat on Halloween. Several members brought out their cars and decorated them. I did the same thing I did last year, which was to make a game where kids throw footballs into holes on a board. I had prizes like silly string and glow necklaces/wands/bracelets which of course wer quite popular. We all had candy to give out as well.

My game set up behind my car. I had fun making it too.

Several of the kids were dressed as Avengers

Christina jumping into a photo of Dale

Karen and her friend showed up

4. I went to see another play that Darcy was in at her school. The play was Hamlet, Zombie Killer of Denmark. I have to say that the school does a decent job. They are fairly ambitious in their projects, though the results are not always good. There were several funny moments in this play and several of the kids were real standouts. Darcy's part was very small.

The stage is set

Darcy on stage as Marcellus. Hamlet is on the right side.

News of the Week

1. Saw a commercial for a collection of classic country music that had Mickey Gilley in it. He is much older than the the last time I saw him, in the movie Urban Cowboy. For just a moment, I thought it was David Cassidy in that commercial. Mickey looks so much like David does now. They could play twin brothers. If anyone wanted to hire them...

WHICH IS WHICH?

2. Our mission team returned home from a week in Peru. Three of the people got sick for a day or two while they were there. One with food poisoning. One with altitude sickness. One with a cold. They are all well now, thank God. We saw some pictures from their trip this morning in church and the pastor told us stories about what happened while they were there. The pastor was moved and excited about the reaction they got in Pomacanchi. The landscape was beautiful. The people are hungry for the word of God. My friend Seaver talked to me a little about his trip and he will tell me more when he returns to work this week. I am inspired to go after hearing some of their story. And I am happy that I got to help him and his wife take this trip.

3.My mother had surgery to have a fistula installed in her arm. Apparently this fistula is needed in case she needs to go on dialysis. She has had kidney issues for years, but she thought it was being maintained. I am not sure why there is suddenly a rush to have this thing implanted and she wasn't sure why either. It's best to have it implanted and completely healed over before you use it. One doctor told her he thought she would be on dialysis as soon as 3 months. Another doctor didn't tell her that. I don't get it.

4. I was talking to my mother on the cell as I drove home from seeing an apartment. I was sitting at a red light on 66th Street. I was in the far left lane and I was at the front of the line, right in front of the intersection. I rarely ever talk on the phone, much less while I am driving. I guess I shouldn't really. As I was chatting, I saw a green light appear and the car in the lane next to me started to move, so I hit the gas and pulled forward. The problem was that that green light was the signal for the left turn lanes and that car in the lane next to me that moved was the car in the left turn lane. The cars that were trying to turn left coming from the other side had to stop mid intersection to let my car go through. I really didn't realize what I was doing until I was almost completely through the intersection. It scared me a little, but I was grateful that I didn't hit anyone and no one hit me. Now I will check the mail to see if I get a camera ticket.

5. I have been to see a few apartments in the last week or so. Saw one little tiny little house with Madison that was just cruddy. Cute, almost charming layout but the kitchen was so nasty and the windows so corroded that it was a definite no-no. Considering the price  he was asking, he needs to get that stuff fixed up. I also saw a pretty but bland little one bedroom at a very large apartment complex. They have 586 different apartments, 3 pools, and a fitness center. The rent was reasonable, the apartment practically pristine, and it had a dishwasher. The problems? It has carpeting throughout the entire apartment, which I don't want, and they was a $400 pet deposit. No way am I paying someone $400 so I can  have a cat. I called about a 55+ community that had a great unit. No, I am not 55, but sometimes they are lenient on the age. This community was not. I went to see a villa-style apartment, which means that it is first floor and has a little yard area in front. The apartment was okay. It had good storage and the kitchen was okay. The walls were dark and the AC unit was some weird configuration I can't describe. The apartment had a slightly bad smell to it. The rent was too high for what they were offering. And the location is a little too far east for me. The last apartment I looked at was farther south than I have previously been looking. It is on the 3rd floor of a 3 story building that is one of 4 or 5 buildings in this complex. It has no place to sit outside at all. The front door seemed like it could be easily kicked in by a strong enough teenage boy. But the price is fantastic. The appliances in the kitchen are beautiful and new. It is mostly tile floors too! Despite being more south than I had hoped for, I timed myself on driving. It took me 20 minutes to drive there from work, which is about how long it takes me now. It would take me about 10 minutes to drive to church, which is significantly better than the 30 minutes it takes me now. I am seriously tempted by this apartment. However, there is small house for rent and a mobile home for rent and a condo for rent that I want to look at this week, that seem equally perfect for me. The search continues!

politics as usual :(

I hear a lot of people talking about the presidential election. Why not? It is less than month away. TV commentators going on and on about debates and ads and money and everything else. I tune all of it out. Is it because I have already made up my mind and don't need to hear more? No. It is because I have lost all interest in politics. Indeed I have lost all hope in politics. I believe our government is and has been truly crippled for decades.

Our presidential campaigns have become entirely based on lies, fear, and hate. It turns my stomach. The voters hear what is emphasized and what is emphasized is the extreme view. I hear some people at church talk about President Obama. It is truly sad to hear the things that they believe about this man, but where did they get this "information" from? I won't go into it, but it is stuff you can hear anytime you want if you turn on conservative radio talk shows. I was told that if I voted for Obama, then I am not really a Christian. I know this is not God's litmus test. Then I hear about the scary things Mitt Romney will do if he becomes president. Listen to MSNBC and you will hear these same things. I was told that if I vote for Romney, I want women to be oppressed. Yes, clearly as a female I want to encourage a "war on women" and, from what I hear, Romney is the evil oppressor I should choose for the task. The political conversation in America is extreme, unforgiving, and confrontational.

Candidates are lambasted for silly things they might have done in their youth. Say, isn't that why our president must be 35 years old? We all do things in our youth that we would not want to be judged on for the rest of our lives. Ever made a stupid comment out loud in your 20s? Ever did something dangerous or even illegal when you were a teenager? Ever believed in some view/party/religion/movement in your youth that was perhaps just exploration or a brief phase? Better not run for office then. What you did in your previous jobs or previous offices is fair game, I think, but going back 15 or 20 years in personal life? Who hasn't grown, changed, matured in the last 15 years?

What people forget sometimes is that a president doesn't just get to do what he wants to do once he's in the Oval Office. He is not a dictator. He must rely on Congress to pass the laws he would like to see. And then there's Congress. A dysfunctional waste of our tax money if there ever was one. The two parties hate each other so much that very little gets done. I really think that if one party introduced a bill stating that oxygen is good for life, that the other party would find a reason to oppose this bill. "Oxygen is Communist!" or "Yes that's just what the freeloading poor need, more entitlement to oxygen." or something equally appalling. Most of the men and women who becomes president or senator do so because he is willing to give up almost everything for a chance at power. Does that start out idealistically at first? Perhaps. Does it almost certainly become more self-serving? Yes. Am I cynical? Yeah! I am! And I don't believe that one candidate will make a big difference over another. I can't wait for the election to be over.

Pray for our Mission Team and the People of Pomacanchi

Our church has just sent its members for the second time to Peru. They will travel to Lima and then to Cusco via airplane. From there they will drive to Pomacanchi where they will live in a hostel and spread the Gospel to the people there.

I am especially proud of my good friend Seaver and his wife, who went on this mission trip, their first international mission, with the pastor and another good guy, Dale. I am praying for their health and safety every day, as well as the success of their mission and that the Holy Spirit is with them and the people they encounter during the coming week.

We got together to pray and send our team on their way. The mission team consists of the 4 people seen kneeling in front.

Not my Last Will and Testament

Cara and Madison came over this afternoon to help me rearrange the living room and do a little cleaning. Being a natural slob and living alone with no one to hold me accountable means that I get super lazy. It took me 30 minutes to find my Swiffer duster today! There was a lot of work to be done. The living room and part of the dining room look really great now. Thanks to those gals for helping so much!

While cleaning, I came across a paper bag with some postcards from our trip to Tumbling Rock Resort in North Carolina. Also inside that bag were two sheets of paper stapled together and folded in three. I opened it up and read the heading: Last Wishes and Last Testament of Kelly Anne. I checked out the second page and it was signed in 2007. I read it to Cara and Madison in the car on the way to pick up pizza for dinner and we laughed. I now post it for you.

Last Wishes and Last Testament of Kelly Anne

In the case of my untimely, or timely, death, I want to say that, although I never married and never had children, I did have love in my life. I had close friends whom I loved and I made them my family away from family. I had family I loved and with whom I think I grew closer as I got older, as often happens. I may not have made much of an impression on the world during my life, but I enjoyed my life in little ways that I may have never spoken of. I found many things humorous and I hope I brought a little humor into the lives of people who knew me.

In the event of my death, I appoint Kathryn and Gregory the executors of my estate, such as it is. Please sell whatever belongings you need to in order to pay off my debts. A nice "everything must go" yard sale would be good. the executors can decide who gets what out of my many many valuable possessions. Now, now, don't everyone argue about who gets to take home my 1987 Mardi Gras poster! There's plenty of good stuff to go around for everyone! I only have two basic requests that I ask my executors to honor.

My cats, Cowboy and Pidgin, if they are still living, need a good home. Surely someone in the family will want to have these two darlings. Michael can have Cowboy if he wishes. I think Mike needs a good pet. Pidgin needs a good place to retire, as she is quite an old lady. She might like Miami. Greg should let her come live with her estranged sister, Alex. Don't worry about separating Cowboy and Pidgin in two different homes. I doubt they will miss being separated, especially Pidgin.

As far as my paperwork, Greg can go through the personal stuff and Kathy can go through the financial and decide what is important, what they might want to keep, and what can be thrown away. They will know what to do.

Medical Care Decisions:
In the event of my being on life support in a hospital, I instruct Kathy and Greg to make the best decision they can based on the doctor's recommendations, family wishes, and their best instincts. I would like to donate whatever usable organs I have left.

I was always a bit of a control freak, so it won't surprise anyone when I say that I have a few more wishes that you should do your best to fulfill.

I wish to have my body cremated. I REFUSE the idea of being in a coffin. I REFUSE embalming of my body. Please, NO showing or viewing of the body. I would prefer just a memorial service. I would prefer that no church service be held in the event of my death. A short prayer with some reassuring words by a clergyman is fine. I would prefer the memorial service that is not loaded with Bible stories and rants against sinners. I was a sinner and who knows where I will end up? I don't want anyone to have to worry about their own souls during my memorial service. No churchy music if you can help it. Play an Elvis Costello song instead. I will let Kathy and Greg decide on what type of service to have, if any. Of course, I won't be there so I will leave that to the living.

You can do with my ashes whatever you wish or nothing at all. It is up to Kathy and Greg. Maybe you could sprinkle them in Lake Michigan or the Gulf of Mexico. I always like being near the water. However if you decide you want to bury my ashes with a little plaque, that is acceptable too. Something to remember me by, something college kids can sit on in the middle of the night while drinking. I have no preferences as to where to be buried. Kathy and Greg can decide on the location. Whatever is done with my ashes, I want to be cremated in the cheapest possible container allowed by law. A cheap cardboard box is a good choice. Kathy and Greg are instructed to not throw good money after bad, i.e. do not buy a nice wooden box for me that is just going to be burned up. I don't want a viewing so there is no need for a nice casket.

In closing, I will say that I have always hoped for, if not actually believed in, reincarnation. So I don't think I will be haunting anyone, unless you put my embalmed body on display! In that case, I WILL come and get you! I also don't see myself floating around in some kind of heaven. Hopefully I will come back and live another life. Until we meet again, I will say goodbye.

This was only 2007 but I have changed my mind about some of these things. First of all Pidgin is dead already, as is Alex. Secondly, I will want a little more spiritual service. But I still don't want money wasted on preserving a dead body that is just going to cremated, which is still my desire for body disposal. Either that or putting me on a body farm for forensic scientists studying decomposition. Shoot, just chop me and throw me in the Gulf for chum. Guess I better get to rewriting.

My Sunday

Just a report from my Sunday, September 9.

Started off by getting up a little later than I should have. It was raining all morning and the skies were dark and I just kept hitting snooze on the cell phone alarm. But finally around 7:15 am, I got up and took a shower. I especially enjoyed the shower since yesterday I scrubbed and applied several different layers of soap scum and mildew remover to it. The tub doesn't look perfectly clean, but it's better than it was. I also put on a new clear vinyl liner. I laundered the shower curtain too. It's not the first time I have washed the curtain. I've probably washed it 4 times in the 8 years I have had it. It doesn't get dirty so much as it gets dusty. Yes, I should wash it more often, but I forget about it hanging there. Anyway, I washed and dried it as I have done before, but this time the curtain shrunk...about 2 inches! It barely hangs past the top of the tub. It looks weird and runty there now but it still works and I still like it and I don't have any desire to go out and buy a new one.

As I walked out the door at 8:30 am, I grabbed my folder and Bible and a big poster for the Sunday school lesson I would be teaching. I had spent 2 hours the night before preparing. I had previously in the evening typed all my notes for the lesson on the computer, forgetting that I had no ink in my printer. I have had no ink in my printer for years. How does one forget that? So I had to write it by hand. It took up 2 pages of 81/2"x11" paper, front and back. Today's lesson was from 2 Kings. The story was about King Josiah discovering the Book of the Law in the temple while it was being repaired and him renewing his promise to the one and only God.

As I drove to work, slowly applying makeup at the red stoplights, I listened to NPR. At 8:40 am, they give a puzzle quiz and then give a puzzle for listeners to work on during the week. This week's puzzle is this:  Take the name of world capitol city and rearrange the letters to spell the name of a popular and widely-advertised drug. Brittany texted me to tell me she would be late because she set her alarm for PM instead of AM. I had to laugh. She is the other teacher in the class with me.

I got to class and there was no one there. It had been raining so perhaps many families were just staying home. Slowly kids arrived, including the pastor's daughter, a brother and sister, a visitor, and a boy who just graduated to the older kids class this year. This last boy has some major family issues and he is not one to behave and listen on a regular basis. I started in on the lesson as soon as I could because I thought it would take us the whole time to get through my overly-detailed notes. Brittany showed up soon. Good thing. The one boy made it his mission to disrupt, disrespect, and make fun of everything and everyone. I needed help.

After Sunday school, I marched the kids going to "big church" down to the sanctuary. There I ran into a lady I went to the women's conference with back in the spring. I had not seen her all summer it seems. We caught up on things in her life and then the service began. Today's sermon was from 1 John 2:7-11 on the theme of loving others.

I left church and headed to the Tyrone Square Mall. QVC has decided they no longer want my business, by discontinuing my favorite jeans ever and one of their most popular items ever, a pair of jeans by a company they call Denim&Co. I had to go check out some stores. I loathe looking for jeans. I spent 30 years doing that and finally found one that I absolutely loved at QVC. I have bought about 8 pairs in all over the years. Now, when my inventory of these QVC jeans is falling low, they decide to discontinue them. The comments on QVC regarding this are all pretty much like the comment I posted. I don't know why they would get rid of an incredibly popular item and then give us no other similar option. I went to their site yesterday and searched all of Denim&Co and it was mostly shirts and sweaters and sweatshirts. They should just call themselves &CO because they had very few jeans and most of them weren't even made from denim! Outrageous. Soooo, I headed to the mall to check out Lane Bryant, where the clothes are so expensive and a little bit hoochie at times, and Avenue, where the denim is low quality. I thought I might also go to JC Penneys and see what they had. Because I could use a new pair of tennis shoes, I parked by Sears where I have had good luck in the past. I ended up finding two pairs of jeans on sale at Sears that I thought made my tremendous rear end look pretty good. They were also a little tight. Perfectly OK since I am on a diet, right? One of the pair was Levis. Having been fat my whole life, I don't believe I have ever owned a pair of Levis. Seems almost un-American to have never owned a pair of Levis. they just didn't make them for chubby girls for a long time and now they do. AND they were on sale for $17.99, down from $42.99, so I had to get them!

Well, the jeans shortage being handled (and I bought a cute little embroidered henley shirt that was on sale), I went over to shoes and tried on some tennies. Nothing floated my boat too much. I left the mall having only been to one store. Next stop was Walmart for some basic supplies like cat food, tweezers, toilet scrubbers, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc.

Lunch was another stop, this time at Subway. I got the Italian BMT on Honey Oat. I got a footlong since it was on sale for $5.00. I skipped the cheese, since I was going to have salami and pepperoni on this sandwich. I added spinach, tomato, onion, green peppers and topped it with mustard to keep the calories and fat down. I was very hungry but I didn't dare eat yet. I drove home so I could weigh myself - Sundays are weekly weigh day for Weight Watchers - before I gobbled down that sandwich. 

When I got home, I weighed myself. I had lost 3 lbs. Hurrah! I ate half of the footlong and put the other half away for dinner. Then the sad part. I looked up this site which calculates the nutritional content of Subway sandwiches. You plug in what you ordered, what kind of meat, what kind of cheese, etc. and it tells you how much fat, calories, carbohydrates, sodium, protein, fiber, etc. With that information, I was able to plug in the required data on the Weight Watchers site to see how many points it was. It was 12 points per 6". I hadn't had breakfast so this counted as both lunch and breakfast. Not too bad. I had berries and peaches with Cool Whip for dessert.

I had to go to church in the evening because I was scheduled to work in the nursery. I was very sleepy (no nap today) and accidentally left 30 minutes too early. I arrived very early at the church and decided to read to pass the time. I laid down on one of the cushioned pews in the sanctuary and read while the praise band diddled around a little on stage, sometimes practicing but mostly just chatting. I worked nursery with Brittany at 6 pm. We had quite a few kids in there for an evening service, including a 12 week old baby boy. I always enjoy working nursery with Brittany. The kids pretty much entertain themselves and the two of us talked while sitting on the floor, ooing and aahing over the infant. We ended by playing a game of musical chairs with the kids.

Now I am home and it is 7:40 pm. It's nearly the end of another compelling weekend for ol' Kel. I have to cook some low fat parmesan scalloped potatoes for work tomorrow. I am also going to tune in to the Broncos playing the Steelers. Wonder how Peyton will do?